She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
