is wine microwaveable?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
