Just fell off a train. Bad.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
