OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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