Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
