You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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