Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
