Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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