Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
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