he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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