My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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