yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
