sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
is wine microwaveable?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
