It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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