The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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