Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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