I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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