Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
