she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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