just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
