Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
