You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
