He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
