PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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