After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
