He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize