Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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