I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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