I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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