I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
What a dumb baby whore.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
