The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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