So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
