Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
