We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
