My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
