Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
