He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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