omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
