Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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