Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
false alarm. still invincible.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
