Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize