Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
