what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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