how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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