She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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