You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
