I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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