no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
