Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
