WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize