hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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