I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize