Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
