there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize