Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Enjoy the penises
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
