Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
