we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
