school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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