Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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